Beginnings

'It's happening. I'm in the air. The past few days have been completely chaotic with packing hassles & panic attacks & things going awry at the last-minute but now we are 25 000 feet from the ground & I can finally collect my thoughts. Saying goodbye was difficult, but it's only now that I'm fully realising that it's time to let go of a lot of things, be it the comfort of family or friends or familiarity. I know I need this period of rest & finally there's peace in my heart to leave, & while there's so many thoughts & things spilling out onto this page, I'm mostly astounded & grateful that I get to be here at all. Thank you Jesus.'

(6th August)

'Finally unpacked the remaining dregs of my luggage. It's amazing how a person's life can be reduced to a few possessions if need be, a suitcase of things. Back home, everything I needed & wanted was at hand, but here, I still have to get used to the idea of owning nothing but a few books & two coffee cups. But this is now home & it's up to me to make it a sanctuary.'

(9th August)

'I don't know why I've always loved small towns. Many people love the cities, the bustling metropolises of concrete & glass where people are always immaculately dressed & ephemerally beautiful, where the heat & the rush & the buzz sweep you away faster than you can ever imagine. Some people like the quaintness of the countryside & the bucolic peace that nature brings. There are times for the two ends of this spectrum but somehow, I mostly find myself caught in between. A week ago, we explored downtown & stumbled upon Linköping's Antikvariat, the only secondhand bookshop in Linköping. Most of the books were in Swedish of course, but it was so lovely to just chat with the owner of the shop; an old lady who talked about culture & literature & how she had stayed in Linköping her whole life & loved it. It seems that the people here are friendlier, more relaxed, more at ease. I like just having lunch & reading on the lawn green, & having fika by myself & writing postcards to home at a charming street cafe. I love browsing through vinyls at the local record store & buying fresh strawberries at the farmer's market in the late afternoon. Already I can feel myself settling into that kind of lifestyle, so unlike the hectic one I was so accustomed to in Singapore & it's a good thing, a great thing. It's been way too long since I've had time to catch a breath, & wow, if it doesn't feel amazing... It's impossible to 'feel' so much, but I'm feeling joyful & apprehensive & excited all at once. Five months. I could get used to this.'

(15th August)