Clandestine places & little things

Once or twice

I have been tempted

on occasion 

to run away from my love of the sea

A love that could ruin me

Out of salt

and black ink

He was borne

So we waltz with a heavy step

with rosebuds peeking out beneath my dress

Oh the confidence of young lovers

But now 

the light in your eyes is dying

and the day has come

where I no longer yearn, 

skin of skin

The day has come

where the man of steel and wood

has become sparse

and silver doorknobs appear

where his eyes once were

So I sit deep in forest crevices

at the edges of cliffs,

and dream of the days

with kisses of melted butter

and unimportant things

Yet I feel less like myself than ever

The air smells of tang and despair

For it was I, who first loved you

from across the sea

___________________________________________

It's easy to feel insignificant. Sometimes, when I'm sitting at a cafe and having a perfectly amiable conversation with a friend about literature or films, I get this jolt of fear. I suddenly think of all the thoughts and conversations I've ever had, things I had thought were profound and original, and how they have all already happened. Doesn't it scare you tremendously? That your every blossoming epiphany about life and its pinnacle events have already taken place somewhere in time or space, recorded in a book of sorts. Who are we then, if not vessels to hold the recycled thoughts and experiences of greater people? Who are we, if not brilliant? 

How does one cope with the feeling of insignificance then? We bake cupcakes & take long walks & write long, sad poems & read old novels who have become friends & drink mug after mug after mug of tea. We do extraordinarily, ordinary things. We do ordinary things, because often, it is the ordinary things that make us happy. And I've come to realise that in the end, one's happiness is truly the only thing that matters. 

Lent: Day 18

It's been a tough eighteen days, ya'll. It's not easy to give up two meals a day, especially on sixteen-hour school days that is full of commuting, essay-writing and the like. But this fast has been wonderful; somehow I've managed to keep the intense hunger at bay and use the extra hours for QT, which has been rewarding for the soul.

Food-wise: I've found that stuffing your face with carbs and protein during that singular meal will leave one nauseated and sickly for the rest of the night. I've not a fan of vegetables or salads, but I've been eating a lot of this dish lately for that very reason. 

It was 'created' a couple of months ago, from a box of almost-stale swiss mushrooms and a box of pea sprouts. The tomato pipérade used in this dish involves a whole lot of simmering and reducing, so pasta sauce does just fine! This warm salad tastes better if left to stand for a couple of hours.The salad is best served with toasted slices of rustic bread with a dry crumb, to eat with the leftover olive oil and vinaigrette. 

Ingredients

1 medium/large zucchini

20 red cherry tomatoes

25 medium swiss brown mushrooms

75g of fresh pea sprouts

2 cloves of garlic

Extra Virgin olive oil

White wine vinegar 

Tomato pipérade / pasta sauce (Prego)

Fresh & dried basil

1 bay leaf

A few sprigs of fresh thyme

Salt & Pepper

1. Prep: Slice the zucchini into half-inch thick crescents. Then, halve the cherry tomatoes (do not throw them in whole. Cutting them into half means that the dish will be more flavourful from the pulp inside). Chop the cloves of garlic finely.Take the stalks off the mushrooms and slice them thinly. Do not be surprised by the quantity of the mushrooms; the entire mound will reduce in size by at least half after sauteing and reducing.

2. First, heat a good lug of olive oil in a large skillet (at least 12 inches in diameter) at medium heat. Add in the zucchini and sauté for about 4 - 5 minutes, stirring and flipping the slices constantly. 

3. When the zucchini is just about to turn tender, throw in majority of the pea sprouts. Stir-fry for about 2 - 3 minutes

4. Add in the tomatoes, basil, thyme, bay leaf and a heaped tablespoonful of tomato pipérade / good-quality pasta sauce (Prego or Dei Fratelli). Stir to mix everything. Reduce heat to low and cover with lid, allowing the flavours to meld for a few more minutes. Put the vegetables aside.

5. Add more olive oil and the chopped garlic on the skillet on medium heat, adding a tablespoon of olive oil if necessary. Sauté mushrooms for about 5 - 7 minutes. Sprinkle with sea salt and freshly grated black pepper. Cover with lid, and let the mushrooms cook under low heat for another 3 minutes.

6. Take off lid and combine mushrooms with the vegetables. Add a good splash of white wine vinegar and more olive oil for dressing.

7. Add a generous dash of salt (1/3 table spoon) and more pepper. Adjust according to taste. Give the remaining pea sprouts a quick fry in the pan (not till limp) and place on top of the entire salad for garnish. Remove bay leaf. 

Serve with toasted focaccia or ciabatta slices 

Boy Lilikoi

And then I heard youYou made me long forTo be a part ofSomething that I can't seeA life that is beyondSomething that I can't fearTo be a part ofThe story - It belongs to you

Something you said wasAbout the pen and the paperYou can always write itIt is something you'll have to doGathering stories

____________________________________________

A beautifully-adapted novel, Cameron Crowe, and Jonsi as a composer. And all in one movie! It's a film buff's dream.

I have found that the best kinds of films do not depend on the talent of actors or directors, but on the musical score that it is set to. How lovely it is, when music is so aptly woven into the script and scenes that it becomes a character of its own. This is music that makes your soul soar, the kind of music that leaves you breathless.    

Untouched

'There's a whole commotion going on inside us.' 

'That's bad?'

'It's bad if we want to know what's going on outside ourselves.' 

'Don't we have eyes & ears for that?' 

'They're okay most of the time. But sometimes they get in the way. The earth is speaking to us, but we can't hear because of all the racket our senses are making. Sometimes we need to erase them, erase our senses. Then - maybe - the earth will touch us. The universe will speak. The stars will whisper.'

Stargirl

Jerry Spinelli

A Valentino Summer

Ever since I got the issue of Teen Vogue in the mail, I haven't been able to stop ranting about the beautifully-cut Valentino dress worn by Elle Fanning in the February cover shoot. It appears that the spring/summer fashion trends favour that of old-fashioned lace and bright classic reds (The tart shade, after all, is an apt choice for award season's numerous red carpet events. One only needs to look at Charlize Theron's choices for the Globes this year).

Elle models in a red Miu Miu dress with a full lace bodice, a scarlet Christopher Kane piece with white lace sleeves, Marc Jacobs & even some elegant Louis Vuitton. The Oscar de la Renta accessories, of course, goes wonderfully with the Valentino.

As for the charming starlet, one can no longer call her the 'second' or 'littlest' fanning. As said before, the lovely Elle Fanning is going places. This isn't only limited to being a wonderful thespian, but extends far and deep into the world of fashion as well. For example, being personally invited  by Karl Lagerfeld to the 2011 Haute Couture show in Paris is not something many teenagers can dream, let alone, boast about. Besides being on the top of fashion show invite lists from around the world, Elle Fanning is also the model, spokesperson & muse for established couture line Rodarte. And all of this, at the age of thirteen-going-on-fourteen.

You can read the full teen vogue article here, or watch Elle pirouette gracefully in Rodarte's short fashion film, The Curve of Forgotten Things.

Love Me Do

'Love is giving of your best self even on a bad day. Love means sticking together. Love is not taking things personally even if someone else is in a bad mood. Love is going to get ice-cream. Love is staying even when they drive you crazy. Love isn't a result of circumstances, love is a choice. Love is speaking kindly under pressure. Love is family. Love is kissing. Love isn't finding a soulmate, it's being a soulmate.'

It may be a little late, but this is love, from the Girl With The Glasses Show.

Of music & magic

'... The word conservatory sits soft and warm on my tongue. I love how it's almost always exclusively related to music. When I hear the word, I think of an underground labyrinth; a dimly lit place, with people tucked into cocoons and breathing in thick curls of music.'

I've been skipping meals and sleep and social activity of every kind, writing through the days for a creative writing fiction assignment. It took three days, but it was worth every second. I like the process, the creation of words on a blank page, the breath of satisfaction when your strings of words finally become a story worth telling. It's such a wonderful feeling.

Where the rain gets in.

My voice may not be loud

but it certainly carries far

A single note carries forth

Into the cavern

Out of the same mouth

I sing love and spite

Think less and live more

For this we are sure

Do you remember the faces

And how they melded together as one

And how he used to part the air with his tongue

And how the words used to flow endlessly

Into, from, down, around (a paper cup) 

To psychedelic dreams

And we will follow you to the depths of the aquamarine,

In a brilliantly-coloured yellow submarine.

Call it what you want!

CNY is coming to an end! There are a lot of essays to write. Some times I lie in bed at night and have mini panic attacks, just counting off the list of things I have to do. Then, the moment passes and I go back to reading the latest Marquez novella or scrolling through pages of 9gag. You know, just saving the panicking for future me.

Also, you know the dream where all your teeth fall out? I had that for the first time yesterday and it was tres frightening. It was terrible because in addition to the teeth falling out, my jaw broke into two and my dad refused to take me to the dentist. I don't know why he was a douchepacker in my dream. That is all!

Quotes from the lesser known

I think that it's nice sometimes to watch people do something they love, even though you might not understand it very much yourself. Like watching people who love music talk about it, or listen to their favourite piece. The way their hands move, the nuances in facial expression, a creased brow slowly seeping into relaxation. It's like watching the truest form of happiness.