Meatball pyramid

My sister and her husband decided one day that they wanted a baby. 

'Are you sure?' I asked her. 'They are a lot of work & your nipples will get as big as hubcaps.' 

'They will not,' she answered. 'We're going to start trying right away.' 

Six days later, she called me again. 

'Guess what?' she said. 'I'm pregnant.' 

'Are you sure?' I asked. 'Maybe you just ate something that was dead too long.' 

'No it's true.' she assured me. 'The pink dot says so.' 

'It's impossible,' I said. 'Take another test.' 

'I've taken seven,' she asserted. 'Seven pink dots says you're going to be an aunt.' 

'What did you do?' I asked her. 'Put your ovaries underneath your pillow last night & wait for a visit from the fertility fairy?'

Funniest book I've read all year.

(hashtag) Twitter

(25/10/2012. Spotted: John & Yoko on the MRT)

25th Sep

'Love, like art,comes from the moment.' 'Minor correction, love comes from a confluence of chemicals and hormones in the pineal gland' #bones

The backs of all stamps should taste like bacon

Dinner is a diet coke & a two-day old frozen chicken steak how sad is that

OK, I lied about the coke being diet. 


26th Sep

WHO ATE ALL MY PRETZELS

27th Sep

tried to wipe a speck off my screen for ten seconds before realizing it was a full-stop in the middle of the page #ibetrippin'

Why are Harry & Ron always complaining about studying for exams you're in a magic school doing magic homework for crying out loud

Just walked home in the pouring rain... Yeah I really carpe-d that diem. Take that, dead poet's society!


28th Sep

Just had my first slice of mooncake I FEEL SO CONNECTED TO MY CHAINESE CULTURE #notreallyno


29th Sep

When's the new Jonas Brothers record coming out?

Yeah anyway I'm apparently my mom's mooncake delivery assistant how did I get here what did I do in life


30th Sep


Ants in the bathroom. Who's been eating Reese pieces in the shower again?!

Oops yeah that was me.


1st October

For once in my life I want somebody to threaten me so I can say 'I don't respond well to threats.' in a cold, steely voice

My dad has the same waist size as me okthxbye

Oh right it's October. Time to get excited about Halloween.... TV specials.


2nd October

DON'T TALK IN THIRD PERSON UNLESS YOU'RE DOBBY THE ELF OK? ok

Likely death scenario: choking on a chocolate biscuit.





Yeah so, follow me @stacecake on twitter #irrelevanthashtag

Call it what you want!

CNY is coming to an end! There are a lot of essays to write. Some times I lie in bed at night and have mini panic attacks, just counting off the list of things I have to do. Then, the moment passes and I go back to reading the latest Marquez novella or scrolling through pages of 9gag. You know, just saving the panicking for future me.

Also, you know the dream where all your teeth fall out? I had that for the first time yesterday and it was tres frightening. It was terrible because in addition to the teeth falling out, my jaw broke into two and my dad refused to take me to the dentist. I don't know why he was a douchepacker in my dream. That is all!

Just like I knew you would

'For our last number, I'd like to ask your help. Would the people in the cheaper seats, clap their hands? And the rest of you, if you'd just rattle your jewelry.'

This is what I'm doing at 2am on Chinese New Year; watching old Beatles videos and falling in love with them all over again.

Who doesn't love lucy?

Watching I Love Lucy clips makes staying at home, with nothing but an impaled foot for company, a little more bearable.


Speaking of excellent telly shows, new 2011-2012 line up of American sitcoms include Parks & Recreation, Modern Family & the Office; All out this week! I never tire, of the mockumentaries.

An addition to the family

Say shalom to our new office friend!

Meh.

Note to self: do not paint props while feeling groggy/extremely tired and thinking you'll live through it. Instead you'll wake up with a cheek-ful of red paint!

Also, I think I've sprained my hipbone. From what physical activity, I wonder. Was it from sitting in front of a PC all day, slouching in front of the telly, or walking from my bedroom to the refrigerator to get more chocolate buttons? Urgh gluttony defeats all.

My hip really, really, hurts though.

Buy me an ice-cream?

Today whilst looking at furniture at IKEA, the entire family (except mom) started fooling around with the random household appliances, as usual. This resulted in dad accidentally pushing against the emergency fire-escape door handle and setting off the alarm, holding two embarrassingly large lampshades in his hands.

Needless to say, we all proceeded to briskwalk to a ten-metre radius distance and laugh.



4:12am and I'm watching The Office episode where Michael attempts to force Meredith into going to alcohol rehabilitation. I don't want to go to work tomorrow :/

The coming of age

I used to detest hearing people go on about work all the time, but now I totally understand. It's so bizarre feeling 'old'. Work, rockafella practices, meetings, family, church commitments and worst of all, A-level results just around the corner... It's going to be a tough couple of days. Yet, every week I ask God to help me pull through and I do. Sometimes all you have to do is laugh in the face of life and it'll all be better :)

Found a collection of 'World's Worst Metaphors' and it certainly got me laughing. For definitions sake, metaphors are used to put connotative meanings to phrases and not to state the obvious, the literal, and the hopelessly stupid. Here are the top picks...

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.


How I would love to use all of these gems is a single essay.

They see me rollin'

'Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty'


Harriet Pitztomania says hello!

Aunty Judith's cool John Lennon shades!




Go-karting, shopping and pigging-out in JB on Monday was so much better than expected! It's amazing the amount of fun you can get out of a paltry 100 dollars in Malaysia. Despite my gravitational pull to freak accidents and what not, I'm proud to say that I emerged unscathed from the event.

Christmas is coming in four days and I haven't finished writing my cards! With luck, some of the cards will get to you before New Years Day (That includes you, Santa Claus ;D) Other than that, life consists of music and drama practices, days spent watching M.A.S.H and scoffing chips, and the occasional bull-session with friends. Spent wayyyy too much money this month but hopefully that'll be covered by starting work in 2011!!

Till then, it'll be just laying back in a stagnant pool of lethargy. Hola!

All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

Fervent facebook discussions on the Beatles (in light of commemorating forty years since the brilliant Liverpool quartet broke up) makes me sad.

Just gotta love Ringo's face tho :)

Hello, propaganda

Also, if you're a fan of the of the original British 'morale' slogan, you can have a laugh looking at these. I must say, November is particularly true for me...

More here.

Origins of the word 'lepak'

This is the exact conversation I had with Clare via text

S: K I'll see you then ~
C: hahaha ~ has a major lepak vibe
S: Lol. I ~ed all day
C: haha! omg. Same here :) Screw studying
S: ~ will become the new sign for lepaking. When we wanna saw lepak, we must trace it in the air.
C: Hahaha! We're too cool for school ~ Even highlighting books is tiring to me wtf
S: Haha I am so writing our conversation down.
C: SUA~

Slacker's jargon. I kid you not.

:)

The throes of oversharing

I've had waaay too many oversharing, word-vomit moments the past few day, resulting in a) extremely awkward situations, b) heaving laughter or c) stunned silence. To my tag team member: 'burning sensations ~~~'

It's alarming how I'm so calm, despite As being in a couple of weeks. Today I spent the whole day filing. FILING. I kid you not. Why would any imbecile only start filing now, you might ask... well, procrastination is an art my friends. (But then again, so is stupidity)

Can't wait for Friday when I can finally unwind a little bit and jamming on Saturday :) These are the little things we're allowed to look forward to, right?

On absolutely nonsensical cliches

I have just got to say this...

11:11 doesn't exist.

*gasp!

'Skeptic!'
'Dream-shatterer!'
'Next thing you're gonna say is Taylor Swift sucks!' (well...)



Maybe it's just pms, or the daily influx of the same tweets on making wishes. Like please, grow a pair. I mean, c'mon, once a year, that's fine. But everyday, kinda takes the excitement of things right?

Definitely the PMS.

Graphs as we know it

Even after reading Women in Love & Tess of the D'urbervilles twice (each!), their plots pretty much seem like the last graph to me.

One long line of overwhelming boring-ness.

Good luck for killer p5 literature tomorrow guys!

Who needs milkshakes when you've got a....

Idk why, I just like moustaches :)

Today was hopelessly boring and everything else apart from schoolwork was endlessly fascinating. 18 more days to prelims. Someone please shot me (with some motivation, at least)

Summer of '69

To lie on carpeted skies,
How I struggle to tell you
that you were always my sandbox date.

__________________________________________

In an effort to keep fit, I made the biggest mistake of my life to go cycling with some t7-ers last thursday. Equipped with nothing except for George's hand-drawn map (hurriedly scribbled on the back of a faded Burger King receipt), we set off after GP paper.

And then I realised how amazing it was that four dudes had almost no sense of direction. ha!

Spotted: Ms Yoong doing the 'aunty-brisk-walk' @toa payoh interchange. She sure does have her fair share of paparazzi :)


The oil slick that sheri so cleverly walked in the same night cause she forgot.


We had to go through this narrow alley in one of the many deserted and dubious routes, i kid you not. Rather exciting

Ruizhi's bike spoilt halfway and Zhi yoong solved the problem!

Five hours later we were hopelessly lost, barely crossing the halfway mark and everyone was dying of cramps and steaming with frustration. So we had to call Ms Teo in the middle of her movie and ask her for cab numbers (lots of drama which I will not go into!!!)

Finally made it to Bedok corner about two hours late. Thanks so much to Tiara and Yiwen for staying there till 930 even though the famous hokkien mee was sold out by then! :))

Rushed off for family BBQ after that. Overall, a crazy day to 'celebrate' post-exams.

Okay so maybe cycling had its fun bits but I am never trusting George with any kind of daredevil expedition again :/ hahaha


Holidays are here and it's been alright so far. Skived school for most days ('cept lit. By the way the 2500 word lit essay is done! Took me five days.) because it's useless like that. Anyway, I hate to say this, but intensive math tuition has began which is putting an even bigger strain on my non-existent social life.

Went for a booksale last Sunday and got six books for less than 50! Although I really should be reading Tess/Women In Love instead of 'I married a Communist'. Dinner at Mezzanine where I got mauled by a hot but drunk caucasion (!) and sheri saved me in the middle of my stupor. Long story.

Also went to Malaysia on friday with my family and bought a ton of stuff! Developed my rolls of film and stocked up on polaroid packs and disposables. They are tres excellente. Now all I have to do is scan them in :)

Studying with sarah anne yesterday at the airport was mad funniness. The adventures of tweedle dee and tweedle dum. We are terrors on airport luggage carriers and smooth slopes. Tomorrow at eleven am again!

Jen left for Vietnam and didn't tell me! Mel is back! Faith is coming back soon! Life is great.

Tomorrow I am starting on my ham-and-cheese-sandwich diet, which mel points out, isn't really a diet at all. Considering the amount of food I consume, I would think it is. Stupid sarah and her lectures on the importance of health.



Well, that's a pretty lengthy update. Till next' :)

(if you'd only) dream a little dream of me

I remember getting one of these from my penpal (by snail mail, mind you, all the way from Europe) years ago. Now, I still have no inkling of what it's truly for; give you pleasant dreams, take away the nightmares, or simply for you to remember the subconscious drifting? You tell me.

Anyway, found some rather lovely quote online by D.H Lawrence. Finally something he says that makes sense to me!

Oops, which reminds me. Lit essay which was due last week and not yet handed up. uh-oh. Lit tutorials are getting incredibly dull.

Ms Chua: Class, am I going too fast?
Val(whispers): No, she's going too boring

on the other hand, CHICAGO was wicked. What can I say, I love cabaret. Full update next time! For now, it's time to surf into dreams :)

Throw back your head in laughs

And thus, the story of creation.