'That time was like never and like always'

What an interesting semester it's been... Wouldn't trade a moment of it for anything.

Roma

'We are in a painted room, rising from a new world. Here, there are no mirrors, only eyes. Only a trunkful of vinyl & the clicking of hearts in the insides of ears. In the course of the night the world has already changed remarkably & yet you & I have remained almost exactly the same which is sad but also very beautiful. You open your mouth & taste the edges of the day that is yet to come, so warm & so bare. This is the space we have come to inhabit or the space love inhabits or the space the idea of love inhabits. All around us, words settle like flecks of dark chocolate. I say, it's this part I enjoy most, the morning arguments about nothing at all. Is it only the conversation you like? Well no, but I like it best. Like the fizz that spills over a tall glass of root beer. You laugh. So stick out your tongue. Morning peeks through, & then floods. One cannot help but feel walled in, familiar as the shadows that lie on the floor may be, or however lovely the comfort offered by hollowed bed cocoons may be, because after all a room is a room is a room & a room must have walls. You are usually a person filled with light, very much of zeal but today you have gone to seed. Lie down and talk to me, you plead but already your eyes are like dark caves & once again you are alone in sleep. So I leave. Outside, the city throbs and I try very hard to be in the same vein, weaving through oceans of people & its smells; buildings sweating with toil & the crisp metallic tang of pavement stones. I ache for something else altogether. Nature, maybe. Anywhere away from here. In this crowd, I can't help thinking: If I cried out now, would anyone stop? Would anyone hear me? Perhaps I should have stayed with you. You, who are so young, not quite ripe, not a boy but certainly not a man yet. Now we will be children together, that is what you said when we met, when I was still not yet sewn into the fabric of this landscape. The tender flesh of the inside of a tomato, a song made out of milk & honey, racing profiles & patterns across a darkened room, intoxicated by liquor & the promises of a night forgotten before it can be created. Skin & a lock of hair... could you carry me off to an unfamiliar room? I wonder if I would ever again have the opportunity to fall in love with a stranger. Universes & fragments... Suddenly I want you here with me very, very badly. Mi amado, de alguna manera nuestras formas encajan...

Even when I walk the streets alone, I wear your love like a soft scarf.

The darkening sky will soon sweep the light away. Tonight we will go out & take in, inhale this territory still so foreign to me. Perhaps you will take me dancing after, or for a music show in a clandestine loft only we & a few know of, where the air is stale but the sound is fresh. When the bass kicks in, perhaps the crowd might surge with the exhilaration that lasts only for a span of a song. Perhaps, when we fall back onto the sheets together & ride the soft velvet waves back into dream, the city will feel more like home.'

Everything looks different in rain

Like life, I am unhinged, as large
In an apartment high above
with streaked windows like doors
This dream becomes solid as
the ground I stand on
Lick my fingers clean of an unconscious song


Shadows lengthen & shorten
till stars are punched out in the sky
hands against hands
and so we go
on ships that sail only across bedspreads
Maps.


Joyful,
so we are joyful together,
lovers will be the same forever.

Solitude.

'She slept with the door open every night. At one time, when she was more hopeful, she had thought: if Rey were to come back tonight, he would see right away that I was sleeping alone. That had been the logic at first, but now it wouldn't be truthful to say that she expected anything of the sort. It was habit, pure & simple, of the kind whose origin was vaguely recalled but which existed nonetheless, a constant & unchanging fact of life. Her door was open.'

Lost City Radio

by Daniel Alarcón

_____________________________________________________________

I'm done with a major essay. It feels wonderful to read for pleasure again.

Where people are casually lovely

Bare light
Circles around your shoulder blades
And as the coffee grows cold,
I escape

To a place where people are casually lovely

where travellers & lovers thrive

To a place where people live vibrantly,

die tragically,
but yet are still alive

There,
my heart brings me to places
my mind never brought me
There,
time will leave me alone

Then there is always the coming back.



To walls slick with years of touch and dust
Splintered rosewood & rubbed lavender
Shards of daylight dancing across the floor,
extravagant in its moves.
Somehow
it feels like, at home,
I am more away than ever


But then I see you,
the pillow ridges that lines your face,
And miles of skin & hair & dips & plateaus
& violet breath,
rising like steam

And I think, well,
He looks like someone I could learn to love
Someone that I could love
Someone that I would love

Perhaps here isn't so bad after all.
Here, we will flourish in broken places & still love
Ground our words to ashes & dust,
inhale...
There are always other days

Maybe I'll take you there someday

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 17

'What do you think of the idea of soul-mates?' 

'Soul-mates are real to a certain extent... There may be one person out there for you, but as you change, so does your soul-mate. I believe you can try looking for your soul-mate, and your soul-mate can try to find you, but it doesn't always work that way.' 

'Here's the hard-hitter: what is love to you?' 

'Love simply means giving in & being there when he/she needs you. Love means loving the person at her worst.'

Alex T, 17

Drummer. Specializes in being hilarious, & also, weird.

Where Light meets Dark

Come!

Let us leave this place,

This wretched place behind.

Somehow we will be enough for each other.

And we will teach each other to love

To love each other

We will learn

Yes

Somehow will be enough for each other

For what else is there but love?

I know nothing besides the fullness of it

If just sorrow lasts,

we will only melt into rain and become its cry

I believe that it is the dawn of love that keeps us alive

No?

Then what are you afraid of? 

What scares you to death & silence?

I only want oblivion

So come! 

Let us leave this wretched place behind!

Only do not ask me where,

for I do not know myself.

__________________________________________________

You say to me

The light in your eyes has gone out:

Once aflame,

now grown cold.

I do not deny

You make me weak in places 

that I had not previously known existed

And as we sat there, 

wrapped in sheets,

And as I breathed in the musk of your collarbones,

You painted me in fire,

Colours that speak of passion & boldness

You tell me of newer & better places

Places which I fear

And you said... 

Come.

But no!

I am so sorry

I am not one to go against the grain

I am not that man

Somehow this leaving, this departure

It sounded more elegant in my mind.

Prufrocking

'Let us go then, you and I

When the evening is spread out against the sky

Like a patient etherized upon a table

Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets

The muttering retreats

Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels

And sawdust restaurants with oyster shells;

Streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent

To lead to an overwhelming question...

Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?'

Let us go and make our visit.

...

There will be time, there will be time

To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet

...

For I have known them already, known them all;

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life in coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall,

Beneath the music from a farther room

So how should I presume?

...

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets,

And watch the smoke that rises from the pipes

Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of the windows?

...

And I have seen the moments of my greatness flicker

And I have seen the eternal footman hold my coat, and snicker,

And in short,

I was afraid.

...

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea

By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red & brown,

Till human voices wake us, & we drown.'

Excerpts from 'The Lovesong of J.S. Prufrock' 

T.S. Eliot.

_____________________________________

I love that phrase: 'streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent.' I don't know the exact word to describe the way I feel when I read it, except that it is a pleasant and warm sensation that prickles through me. Strange, the things that poetry can do.

Last week, I was dozing off in a linguistics lecture, and the professor used the word insidious in a statement (which I now forget. It was related to phonetics, or sociolinguistics, or something equally sleep-inducing.) and I immediately snapped to attention. It just reminded me of this very special poem & how it made me feel. I began to smile like a complete goof & my course-mate looked at me like I was completely off my rocker. Like I was mad. 

I continued to smile widely to myself though, because it was all strange and funny and lovely to have this secret connection to a certain word that no one else knew about. Well. Perhaps all aspiring writers are a little mad, inside.   

Love Me Do

'Love is giving of your best self even on a bad day. Love means sticking together. Love is not taking things personally even if someone else is in a bad mood. Love is going to get ice-cream. Love is staying even when they drive you crazy. Love isn't a result of circumstances, love is a choice. Love is speaking kindly under pressure. Love is family. Love is kissing. Love isn't finding a soulmate, it's being a soulmate.'

It may be a little late, but this is love, from the Girl With The Glasses Show.

Out with the New, in with the Old

'To me, the three most important parts of my life are art, love and nature.'

Alison Sudol

The European Experience: Part 6

Tour De Eiffel
Paris

A quintessential part of Paris' cityscape, a landmark, a glowing wonder. Much has been said about its beauty, but never enough.

We sat on the steps of the Palais d' Chaillot, sandwiched between the luminescent sunset and the rusty-red monument, and simply watched. At 10pm midway though sunset, the Eiffel Tower burst into gold flames and the horde of tourists clapped and hooted enthusiastically, repeating the cycle once every hour. The silent lulls in between were spent writing postcards home and sipping chilled drinks. The night air, however, was punctured by a ragtag bunch of Filipino musicians, eager to make a living out of spare change by doing terrible John Lennon covers. Where were all the saxophonists and violinists in Paris that night? A little Édith Piaf would have been good enough.

Who could imagine Parisians detested the La Tour Eiffel a century ago? Apparently in Paris, the saying goes that 'If you build something, don't expect anyone to like it for the next twenty years'.

So, there's still a chance, dearest Louvre pyramid!

Poets, entangled

"What is it my dear?"

"Ah, how can we bear it?"

"Bear what?"

"This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?"

"We can be quiet together, and pretend - since it is only the beginning - that we have all the time in the world."

"And every day we shall have less. And then none."

"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"

"No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."

A.S. Byatt
'Possession'

Between inanimate objects

Love Letter from the Toothbrush to the Bicycle Tire
by Sarah Kay

They told me that I was meant for the cleaner life!
That you would drag me through the mud.
They said that you would tread all over me,
That they could see right through you,
That you were full of hot air.

That I would always be chasing,
always watching you,
chase after sleeker models
that would be a vicious cycle.

But I know better.
I know about your rough edges
and I have seen your perfect curves.
I will fit into whatever spaces you let me
If loving you means getting dirty,
then bring on the grime!
I will leave this porcelain home behind
I'm used to twice-a-day relationships
But with you
I'd take all the time!

And I know we live in different worlds,
and we're always really busy
But in my dreams
you spin around me so fast
I always wake up dizzy

So maybe one day,
you'll grow tired of the road
and roll on back to me
And when I blink my eyes into morning,
Your smile,
Will be the only one I see.

We melt like butter on the tables

Through the curious keyhole
I see with open eyes
a precarious situation
I love too much to sacrifice

This is not new circumstance
I've fallen down this rabbit hole
time and time again
Meet me down there
two curious souls

Rewriting tales of folklore
we belong to imprints
on the flyleaf of your novel
We are myths
too great to be conquered

A tour of your magical mind
I can only believe
this will not end too soon

I love the way you say good morning

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match

Cause I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching, I'll make it better

Cause I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear

Cause I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am

The rap part is kinda corny(still cute!), but I loved the original in the second half. Inspiring! The likes of Feist, KT Tunstall and a Fine Frenzy all rolled into one.

I cover us with silver leaves

Love,
oh love was in fashion that summer,
and hearts were ripe for the picking,
you were ever-so compelling

Do you remember how it feels?
To have sunshine radiating from our hearts
we become
two trees, standing in a solitary breeze

Weaving bodies
Fall in unison,
and hair that's thick with leaves
The undergrowth is where we'll lie

Looking at the world through
Rose-coloured glasses
La Vie En Rose

You are of 5-cent lemonade stands

Two kids in Love (in a lake of ice-cream)

Sunny days don't get any better
We'll lie in the backyard and drink lemonade from the jug,
five-cent lemonade from the jug
Reveling in unsophisticated
behaviour
Oh, so lovely

These days don't get any better
You painted my front lawn with the colours of your eyes,
too many colours in your eyes
Well, like it matters
I've always liked the mess
we made of things

I think it's safe to say,
We're safe from boredom forever
I know it's unconventional
But this labyrinth it's too lovely
to throw away
What a waste it would have been
to throw it away

Sunny days don't get any better,
If the heat gets up, honey,
let's have a dip
in that lake of ice-cream
Reveling in a lake of ice-cream
Dream,
You and I.

21st July

_______________________________________

Cheers to lemon slice eyes, scribbling in leather bound notebooks and of course, reveling in unsophisticated behaviour :)

A PLAYLIST
for the days you're late for school and don't feel like sleeping on the bus

1. Kisses over Babylon - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
2. General Specific - Band of Horses
3. Lisztomania - Phoenix
4. Bees - Animal Collective
5. Sea of Love - Cat Power
6. Weekend Wars - MGMT
7. Your heart is as black as night - Melody Gardot
8. Stars and Sons - Broken Social Scene
9. We Go Together - Grease Soundtrack
10. Something more (Augustine's confession) - Switchfoot
11. Beat (Health, Life & Fire) - Thao with the Get Down Stay Down
12. Moon River - Audrey Hepburn

I've been watching too many Audrey Hepburn movies these days, and am halfway through My Fair Lady (linguistics research, is my excuse!) There's something magical about Audrey's acting that can make a bad day turn marvelous, in a couple of hours.

Have yet to start revision for prelims! So I suppose watching movies or reading Margaret Atwood novels can wait for a couple of months. Or can they?

Goodnight everyone :)

Love is.

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day' Noelle, 7

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth' - Billy, 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones' - Lauren, 4

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs' - Chrissy, 6

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes do up and down and little stars come out of you' Karen, 7




What love was before we all grew up. Although Lauren is probably just a product of an older sister's scheme to get new clothes (! sounds like a lot of people including me) and I'm thinking Karen just watches waaaay too many cartoons, it is pretty sweet :)

Since when did we lose the innocence? It's rather sad that now love and relationships have become more of breaking hearts and politics. Enough about senseless musings! These are what the last couple of weeks have been like.

These are some random cross country pictures from ages ago!

Miss brother Paul like mad now. He was one of the best parts of CJC and now... well, shall not comment on current leadership except EWWWW TTM.




Vintage photography

Then there was Desiree's party which was impromptu but kinda fun. Since like HALF the people there worked at ICC there was tons of free ice cream. And tell me, what is better than free ice-cream which you do not have to queue two hours for (free cone day which I missed AGAIN.)


Geeky specs are just plain awesome.

Love sissy


Went for NUS open house with Clare and Rach a couple of weeks ago if I'm not wrong and it was kinda fail. Well actually we basically took a train for about a 5000years just to get there, eat some pretty average Japanese food and hopped on a random train. Only thing accomplished was that we managed to get some free ice-cream and check out the facilitis+dorms there. New goal = to stay in block 5, which is the so called happening block!! Town for shaved ice and shopping after!

Hanging out with the cube girls in town last week :) Larking about and as usual not getting much done at all. Hahaha!

Finally met up with Sarah G who is heading off to stiff-upper-lip-agogo-land next week, or more specifically, the hometown of SKINS, to study. Crepes at Marche and Alice in Wonderland was brilliant. Hope to see them again tomorrow!

Lastly there's the wedding of the year! Daniel and Yvonne finally got hitched yay :) Loads of 'disasters' that day, like absolutely torture-instruments called heels and standing in front of the whole ceremony so I could go to the loo but finding the door locked and having to sit down again. Ah.

A nice picture with Nick for once! He looks nice when he is not fooling around and making spastic faces.


whites vs black, good vs evil!
YAY TO JEN AND I! miss mel like mad. But she is coming back soon! :))

They should totally get together two decades later.



School is a pain in the behind as per usual. Have no idea why I go there day after day just to flunk math tests and do senseless things like run 2.4 (THANK GOODNESS ITS OVER THO and we never have to do it ever again) or go for CCA.

MM auditions however, was pretty fun. Nice that Andre went home cause he was sick (nice one mr president of mm) and Alastair had soccer so I was left alone. Rather disorganized but by the end of the hour managed to get everyone 'auditioned' < in inverted commas since they are not really auditions. Not like MM rejects anyone anyway!

Alfresco on Friday! Sssssh(!) is totally unprepared for the gig but hell. Since its an acoustic set I suppose we can just wing it? Hahaha.

Also rather excited for an acoustic band that Jared and Jared's friend and I are forming. Performing at Timbre's over the holidays are our first goal! Should be fun.

But for now there's a bunch of other things to worry about. First, scraping together a decent set of grades so that our wonderful principal won't be such a twat about letting me go to Australia in June. Ah joy.