Within & WIthout

“In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars.” 

The Great Gatsby

F. Scott Fitzgerald

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I recently caught up with a dear friend C, who is currently studying journalism & English literature in the dreamy city of Paris. We talked like how old friends often do: naturally & unabashedly & sometimes absent-mindedly & so it was shocking when she suddenly stopped in her tracks & scolded me for the way I blogged. C, one of the few loyal readers left of this forgotten online space, told me to blog about something concrete, & not to be so vague & nebulous (a word we are fond of throwing around lately) as I 'always' am. It was puzzling to me at first, but it's true. Many writers do feel an obligation to always write about a compelling issue, to publish a review on an art film or an electronic product, or to update his/her readers on a life-changing moment, but the thing is that life isn't always about great, big stories like that. Life isn't just made up of momentous events; it's made up of a million minuscule occurrences too.

So here are a few 'concrete' things that have been happening in mine lately. For starters, the entire office spent an entire Saturday celebrating Alarice's & Calvin's wedding union two weekends ago. What can I say? The chapel was resplendent, the ceremony was lovely & the dinner after was intimate & special. It was a wonderful way to spend an evening, getting drowsy with beer & sleep with friends under fairy lights & flags. I couldn't be happier for Rice, who's been like an older sister to me the past couple of years, at my workplace & elsewhere. The journey is only beginning & I'm so stoked to see how God uses this amazing couple in his kingdom :)

Have been meeting up with the girls (& a couple of dudes) from church often too, for meals or movies or just pure conversation. It started out with a strict sense of urgency, where the ending of sophomore year made me realise how quickly I would be leaving this country for exchange in Sweden & well, I really did want to meet everyone at least once before that. This quickly changed though, with teas turning into dinners & shopping trips turning into 4 hour-long talks at the nearest coffeehouse. I love spending time with these friends & mentors & younger youth. These are the people I've taken for granted for more than 15 years but I am certainly grateful for every one of them.

There are so many more things to write about. Books I've been reading & music I've been listening to. Art exhibitions & time spent with S. The Great Gatsby film. Secret tea sessions & bizarre socials. Work & my hilarious colleagues. I love writing at this time of the night, where the air is still & the world stops, if only for this twilight hour. It's as if God reserved this time, or created midnight at all to let people think & write. But for now the hour is late & that will all have to wait till next time.

P.S. I hope this is concrete enough for you, C. Love. 

Poetry bites

Housewarming 
(As it might have been written by Sylvia Plath)

It is noon & I am already wilting

the landscape cringes &

unhinges

while the second-hand in my wrist ticks on

but only faintly.

I need quiet,

I need space
but all there is, is waiting
& more of falling apart
at the seams

Somewhere else, the real belltower rings.

If this goes on, I might

crack

like an egg

& slide across

the bottom

of a porcelain bowl.

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Currently finishing up two poetry collections that I purchased earlier this year, the first being Wendy Cope's Two Cures for Love & the second being a Sylvia Plath anthology. I have always been crazy over Wendy Cope's work, which is always filled with witty social commentary & counter-balanced with bare-faced honesty about the lesser-known (or less-talked about), embarrassing experiences in life. Her poems, above all, are a celebration of simplicity & uninterrupted streams of emotion, which I like very much. My two favourite pieces from this particular collection were written in two famous poets' 'voice' & style. Here are the excerpts:





A Nursery Rhyme 
(As it might have been written by William Wordsworth)

The skylark & the jay sang loud & long
The sun was calm & bright, the air was sweet,
When all at once I heard above the throng
Of jocund birds a single plantitive bleat.'


&



A Nursery Rhyme 
(As it might have been written by T.S. Eliot)

Because time will not run backwards
Because time
Because time will not run
(Hickory Dickory)




When I say that the poem is written 'in Sylvia Plath's voice', I don't mean to completely copy & paste her style over into my poems because that would just be plain disrespectful. It's just that sometimes, when you have been reading the work of a particular poet over a long period of time like I have, their style automatically becomes familiar to you & sticks, & certain emotions you feel somehow translate themselves into lines that reflect the poet's language & voice greatly. & this isn't disrespectful, or plagiarism in the least, but quite a beautiful thing: a young novice writer paying homage to one of the literary greats by almost becoming one with him/her. I love that idea, that nothing is original, but everything can be authentic.

Well I definitely need to start writing again... & updating this space on everything that's been happening. More to come! 

Writing the City

'Prose is all well & good, but it seems to me that poetry is full of music...'

Julia Bell

Last week, our creative writing fiction class attended a short seminar entitled 'Writing the City' by Julia Bell & Jean McNeil from the British Council & that was a nice change from the lessons that we've been having. Creative writing classes have always been a beacon for me in the past two years of college, with the exposure to interesting literature & the rediscovering of an innate hunger to write, but somehow this semester's fiction course was a little... drab. Perhaps it was the way classes were conducted; three hours of sitting in a circle & workshopping other people's work, which sometimes tended to go in circles without answering any quintessential questions (What does it mean when one says that a novel has a voice? When does one draw the line between fiction & autobiography?). Talking about writing, to me, is always necessary but often dull. Perhaps it also had to do with the kind of fiction my coursemates & I were producing, a lot of it being self-absorbed & overly-personal biography, only with disguised characters & changed names. Most of all though, it was largely because fiction doesn't come naturally to me at all, like how poetry or songs (sometimes) do, & these thirteen weeks were spent feeling largely like a fish out of water. Last week's class however, felt a bit like a breakthrough.

It was more of a reading of their work & discussion than a direct teaching seminar. The pieces they read, both excerpts of work-in-progress-novels & poems, were impressive & on occasion, brilliant. Jean, a travel writer whose work encompasses both Antarctica & Africa, talked about how good writers never let their life experiences & people & current landscapes directly translate into their writing, but how they used these tools to provide a template, a vibrant background for the invented story they had to tell, & I could definitely see how that was the case in her stories. There's a certain richness & creativity & also a curious authenticity, when a writer infuses the surrounding culture & his/her own life into a story without allowing it to be a true reflection of their own lives.

Julia also addressed the issue of fiction vs. autobiography, where she talked about how writing fiction isn't equivalent to ranting on the author's part. Throwing up your emotions on a page is the least of any kinds of writing, which often happens to writers in their early stages. Adolescent angst & bitter romances & painful experiences are treasure troves because of the strong emotion it invokes in the writer & his/her readers, but truly magnificent writing pays attention to how all of it translates onto a page & transforms personal experiences into something powerful & sublime. That is why writing is above all an artform, where things like rhyme & form & style are utilized to craft stories to the best possible form.


It was a good hour. What a terribly awful rant that must have been to some of you, but it was an eye-opener for me... I enjoyed it tremendously! Anyway, I haven't been blogging nearly enough & I promise I will soon when the obligatory final exams are over & summer holidays kick in. Till then... au revoir!



P.S. You can read about Jean's work here, & read some of Julia's poetry & short stories here.

Meatball pyramid

My sister and her husband decided one day that they wanted a baby. 

'Are you sure?' I asked her. 'They are a lot of work & your nipples will get as big as hubcaps.' 

'They will not,' she answered. 'We're going to start trying right away.' 

Six days later, she called me again. 

'Guess what?' she said. 'I'm pregnant.' 

'Are you sure?' I asked. 'Maybe you just ate something that was dead too long.' 

'No it's true.' she assured me. 'The pink dot says so.' 

'It's impossible,' I said. 'Take another test.' 

'I've taken seven,' she asserted. 'Seven pink dots says you're going to be an aunt.' 

'What did you do?' I asked her. 'Put your ovaries underneath your pillow last night & wait for a visit from the fertility fairy?'

Funniest book I've read all year.

On writers.

'Great House'

Nicole Krauss

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I love this extract where Krauss talks about the world of a writer. Taking an advanced poetry class this semester has been incredibly challenging, and different to what I had originally expected. While studying poetry spanning centuries has been wonderful, one cannot help but feel a degree of discomfort when exposed to something entirely novel, like this, and being told that it is poetry. 

I've learnt a couple of things though, about the process of creating poetry and the foundation of which it is built on. For aspiring poets and writers, the first thing to do is not to ask what qualifies as poetry but rather, what we can turn into poetry. It was difficult and tricky at first, of course, stepping out of my expectations of what poetry is supposed to be, and accepting that it merely is. It's funny, how at the beginning, I would ask questions like 'What does this line mean?' or 'What does the author want from this poem?' but along the way I've learnt that sometimes poetry doesn't have to be understood so much as it needs to be felt. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that exploring and being exposed to the myriad of rhythms & forms & types is only the initial step that builds the foundation for your own poetry. To be exposed is to learn, but to only look at different poetry forms with disdain is to put your creativity and artistic style in a box, and I'm learning to accept all kinds, I'm learning to enjoy. I don't want to put my idea of poetry in a confined space. I'd like to believe that poets are capable of the fierce invention Krauss speaks of, that we create, alter and amend, and like many spheres of art, poetry is freedom.  

Dear Friend,

'So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.'

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It's hard to describe in words, how much this novel means to me. I have read coming-of-age books like The Catcher In The Rye or A Tree Grows in Brooklyn before, but up till when I was fifteen, I don't think I've ever felt like a book really understood me. That is, until The Perks of Being A Wallflower.

I remember reading it for the first time and just being incredibly astounded and moved by the sheer profundity of this story, this small collection of letters. It was as if all the weariness & frustration & things I could never quite actualize into words were present in that text and the spaces in between, all the adolescent awkwardness I've ever felt was reflected in the protagonist Charlie. It's amazing, to see your own experiences come alive on a page.

I don't think it's fair for people to sneer and say that The Perks of Being A Wallflower is just another book about teenagers and sex and drugs, because these things don't make it any less important, they make it more real. And it's not all about the sex and drugs, because all of us have had Patricks & Sams & Bills & Mary-Elizabeths in our lives, and all of us have felt the bit of magic found in the three-minute space of a song. Some might think that there is no point in sharing or writing or reading about these stories because everyone else has experienced it before but there is, because sometimes, we just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even if they could have.


We just need to know that these people exist. 

Solitude.

'She slept with the door open every night. At one time, when she was more hopeful, she had thought: if Rey were to come back tonight, he would see right away that I was sleeping alone. That had been the logic at first, but now it wouldn't be truthful to say that she expected anything of the sort. It was habit, pure & simple, of the kind whose origin was vaguely recalled but which existed nonetheless, a constant & unchanging fact of life. Her door was open.'

Lost City Radio

by Daniel Alarcón

_____________________________________________________________

I'm done with a major essay. It feels wonderful to read for pleasure again.

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: The End

'The idea for this compilation came about like most ideas often do: while I was checking Twitter & Tumblr & the rest of the new-fangled social networking sites on an otherwise mundane afternoon. I don't quite know how it happened, but I was just suddenly aware of how much & how often we quote famous people. People, myself included, are constantly filling their blogs with verbatim from the influentials: authors, poets, celebrities, musicians, politicians, artists, philosophers, & the like... & for some reason, it got me a bit upset. Please don't get me wrong: it isn't bad to quote the aforementioned. They were, are, famous for a reason; if not for wisdom or advice or life experience, at least for being wildly entertaining. It does lead us to the question though... What is worth quoting? What is it exactly that deems a person 'quotable'? Surely it is not based solely on the worldly prominence or social status of the individual, but the weight of meaning in that statement that deigns itself worthy to be remembered. I'd like to think ordinary people like you & me say extraordinary things every day, that everyone in this seven billion population on Earth has something to say, simple or profound. 

So here we go, these are Quotes from the Lesser-Known.'

Prologue to the QFTLK compilation

Stacy T, 20

Too embarrassed to write a self-professed, self-praising, one-liner biography

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It all started from a creative writing project final. I remember writing something like this in my journal, two weeks before it was due: 'Oh god I have no idea what to do. A blank slate. Nil nil nil. Gods of creative writing, HALP!' Excuse me, I was a bit deranged by then, starved of sleep & good ideas.

When I finally struck creativity gold (or at least, I'd like the think I did), the problem of the number of subjects came up. Who would help me with this mad prospect? I had less than two weeks, so I set my bar pretty low: at least fifteen people would be good enough to make a decent final project. But it was amazing, the amount of help that poured in. Family, friends, colleagues & even acquaintances, all of you amazing people. People set aside time for video interviews, long talks over coffee, phone calls (long-distance, mind you), random polaroid-taking sessions, answering emails etc. After two weeks of working, I looked at my scrapbook consisting of nearly forty interviews & a video compilation, & almost wept with relief. I was exhausted, but overwhelmingly happy.

There were so many more wonderful interviews, but the ones that were put up here best represented their respective fields & topics of music, photography, writing, acting etc etc. (You can ask me for the video or the complete book if you'd like a peek though, I'd be happy to pass it to you). It's a little late, but I just want to say that I loved every minute of this project, & that I enjoyed sharing all of it with you.

Here are the previous QFTLK entries:

(1) Claudia, Paris & Travel
(2) Lizzie M,Theater 
(3) Samuel, Running
(4) Jennifer, Books
(5) J.J, Music
(6) August, Photography & the Arts
(7) Myself, Love & Finer Things 
(8) Megan, Art & Happiness
(9) Nicholas, Music
(10) Swee Cheng, Travelling & Photography
(11) Samantha, Writing
(12) Alarice, Purpose
(13) Marc, Journalism
(14) Vanessa, Books & The Imagination
(15) Jayne, Dance
(16) Sheri, Art 
(17) Alex, Love
(18) Dylan, Music & The Beatles
(19) Tiara, Education
(20) Melanie, Fashion

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 20

'Give a brief description of yourself.' 

'Melanie. Mel for short. I don't like my name Melanie, so call me Mel. I'm like a nanna. I think like one & behave like one. I like to do things that nannas do. Baking, cooking, rocking on my swivel chair & looking totally clueless when a teenager asks me to name three albums about desert island which I kept pronouncing as dessert island which I had to Google to find out that it was an actual island, but that is besides the point because this is supposed to be a description about me.' 

'Three things whilst backpacking around the world. Go.' 

'IPhone - It's basically your 3-in-1, except that it's more 3-in-1. Camera, writing, cell phone, music, internet, etc. Shitloads of cash - So that I won't have to live the life of a backpacker. I can check myself into a decent hotel & dump my backpack in there & start exploring in the most comfortable way. A companion - What? You're going to exclaim how great this macaron is to yourself? Get out of here.' 

'If you could live in any other place in the world, where would it be?' 

'Paris. There's something about Paris that makes it nostalgic. And also, I live for butter. No one does it better than the French.' 

'Why is fashion an integral part of our lives?' 

'Fashion distinguishes you from the rest of the people! You can go out wearing your pyjamas & be known as the pyjamas girl, that might set you aside from the rest (but seriously, is that what you want?). Fashion displays the amount of confidence that you have for yourself. What you wear is how you want people to see you. Impressions. Not to impress someone, but to leave an impression that could possibly inspire someone else. The needle pulls the thread & this could go on & on, & you're changing things with a mere impression.' 

'Talk about the fashion scene in Singapore.' 

'Well, 'fashion' in Singapore is overrated. Everyone is basically a clone of each other & the ones who are trying to stand out are basically trying too hard to be different. It's just baffling how people can don winter coats or unrealistic clothing for such a climate. There's too many people trying to be something else. Just be yourself & wear what fits & suits you best. That's the best accessory that you can put on yourself.'

Melanie Tang, 23

Fashionista, baker, & all-round foodie

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 19

'Hey Tiara! What's a place you'd like to visit before you die?' 

'Africa! I want to be one with nature. And animals. I love animals.' 

'Let's talk about the local education system. Is there anything fundamentally wrong with it?' 

'I think the problem with the Singaporean education system is that there's just too much focus on results. It doesn't matter how you get there, but as long as you hit the mark, you're gold. Even if it means sacrificing sleep, or mindlessly memorising till you can't absorb anything else. Do kids even learn anything that way? Do they even remember half of what they've learnt once exams are through? I know I didn't.'

Tiara C, 20

Doodler. Has a cat. 

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 18

'Give a brief description of yourself.' 

'My name is Dylan (Chan). I'm 16 & I attend SOTA, a local arts school. I specialize in visual arts & even more specifically, graphic design (typography!). I consider music my hobby, an unprofessional art form. Both are things I'm highly passionate about.' 

'Do you have an artistic role model?' 

'I am not really a fan of any human being. Most of the time you develop your own taste & style. But one ultimate designer I look up to is God the creator of the seas & the sky. Like good design, everything has its function & aesthetics. From the intricate nephrons in your kidneys to the expanse of the milky ways, it is impossible to ignore all the beauty around us.'  

'Why do you love the Beatles so much?' 

'The mere mention of their name makes me smile. The Beatles are wonderful! They're legendary. I can say without a doubt that they are the best musicians in the world, although to some people their sounds are a bit outdated, coming from half a century ago... But their melodies, tunes, lyrics & arrangements are just so skilful & thoughtful. 'Foot-tapping beauty'. Some lyrics are frustratingly simple. Simple chords, simple lyrics, all add up to an enjoyable experience of music. Great arrangements credits to the fifth Beatle, George Martin.' 

'What is music to you?' 

'Admittedly, I get excited at the topic of it. Music is immensely powerful. It determines mood, emotion & atmosphere. By nature, it travels through air, which makes it formless & free. What I love about music is the fact that it is there to keep. Forever & ever & ever. Today's technology has made that even more so... Music is unique in form, it exists in sound. It is unseen, which makes it even more real. To me, it's a whole new sense.'

Dylan C, 16

Art student, musician, & clearly suffering from well-known Beatlemania 

Out of the ash

'We should meet in another life,
We should meet in air,
Me & You.'

Sylvia Plath

'Ariel'

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We visited a decorative cemetery one weekend, in Whiskeytown CA. We were on our way to do some hiking & swimming in the lake, & so we almost missed it, nearly driving past the trees & wooden gates. I'm glad we didn't though, because it was quite something: those graves furnished with stone plagues, garden gnomes, whole nativity scenes, clay rabbits, toy race cars & assorted knick-knacks.

People don't usually find solace in drab places like cemeteries, but over there, it felt quite different... It was a hint of life, happiness, and most of all, peace. If I had a choice, all cemeteries would be like this... & then visiting them would be quite a different experience.

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 17

'What do you think of the idea of soul-mates?' 

'Soul-mates are real to a certain extent... There may be one person out there for you, but as you change, so does your soul-mate. I believe you can try looking for your soul-mate, and your soul-mate can try to find you, but it doesn't always work that way.' 

'Here's the hard-hitter: what is love to you?' 

'Love simply means giving in & being there when he/she needs you. Love means loving the person at her worst.'

Alex T, 17

Drummer. Specializes in being hilarious, & also, weird.

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 16

'Give a brief description of yourself.' 

'I'm Sheri. I'm a graphic designer, Stacy's sister & an avid believer in originality.' 

'Team Peeta or Team Gale?' 

'Team Gale! But it's never going to happen. I don't mind Peetniss though. Even if it sounds quite like a southern male apparatus.' (The fandom changed it to Peenis soon after, by the way)

'What inspired you to pursue art in school?' 

'I just have a passion for it... I feel the need to communicate through the medium. I don't take my passion for it lightly. I'm very, very lucky to have my passion aligned with what I study.' 

'What do you think of the art scene in Singapore?' 

'Bad. So. Ridiculously bad. We aren't trying hard enough. We have the talent. We don't have the opportunities, or the determination to push ourselves to go overseas. We are complacent & comfortable here, & we will die if we don't change. Art is a central point of my life & I think people who have this gift need to make it the centre of their lives too.'

Sheri T, 18

Graphic design student, curiously aloof 

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 15

'What inspired you to start dancing?' 

'It started off as more like an extension of my love for music. I wanted to connect to music on another level... but now dance is on a plane of its own.' 

'What does dance mean to you & can you imagine life without it?' 

'It is definitely hard to assign a specific value to dance as it encompasses so many aspects of my life. This may sound like a cliche, but I feel alive when I dance. It means happiness & fulfilment but also challenge & mental strength. It has also given me a chance to be in a community of great dancers who have taught me many things, not just about dance, but about life. I can't imagine life without it.'

Jayne Y. 20

Dancer & music enthusiast

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 14

'Give a brief description of yourself.' 

'Physically 24, mentally 40; I'm old-fashioned, and never out of style.' 

'Desert island: three books & why?' 

'I love books, but honestly, if I'm going to find myself trapped on an island, the last thing I'd be doing is reading a book. Not unless the desert island comes with a villa, lagoon & an endless parade of cocktails.' 

'Do you have a favourite journalist, or author?'  

'Marc Jitab' (see previous subject) 

'Why do you think books are important?' 

'Books aren't important, per se, but the imagination & the ability to exercise it is. The imagination gives one escape, relief, fantasy, you name it.' 

Vanessa Tang, 24

Coffee. That is all. 

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 13

'Talk about being a journalist & maybe an interesting experience you've had.' 

'Being a journalist... I've had to speak with all sorts of people, from villagers to cabinet ministers - so you need to be ready for both scenarios. An interesting experience I've had was marching through the streets of New Delhi, observing protesters in India protest the EU-India Free Trade Agreement. It was pretty amazing.' 

Marc Jitab, 25

Journalist & graphic designer

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 12

'You've been to so many places, due to the nature of your job and throughout your childhood. Is there any place in particular you'd like to live in, and why?' 

'Honestly, it's wherever I feel God wants me to be, wherever I have purpose, you know? (laughs) So it's not necessarily about wanting to live in a country like say, the States, so I can have a big house there, because these things don't really matter much to me. Honestly, I don't mind living in a box in some third-world country as long as I have purpose and I have an impact.'

Alarice T. 26

Singer-songwriter, recording artist

You can find out more about Alarice & her music here.

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 11

'Let's start with a brief description of yourself.' 

'I'm Sam. I like to buy useless things. Writer, sort of. Film enthusiast & critic... okay that sounds ridiculously pompous. Scratch that. I like movies. Sometimes have trouble distinguishing real life from, say, television or novels.' 

'If you could live in any other era, what era would that be and why?' 

'Perhaps the '50s. I feel as if I could have been good friends with the average Jack Kerouac or Allen Ginsberg. Or maybe the '60s... Yeah, the '60s. I want to see Johnny Cash & The Beatles & The Sex Pistols. I want to go to Woodstock and, ah hem, accidentally get stoned because honest to goodness, I can't tell a bong from a pretty vase... (laughs). I think I would also find it hard to say no to cute hippies.' 

'(Laughs) So anyway, what do you think inspired you to start writing?' 

'I just couldn't help it.' 

'Explain.' 

'Well, first of all, I started doing it because apparently I was pretty good at it. Good grades in English compositions, prizes at writing competitions, all that jazz. But then I realised it just felt good... I could string words together and lay it out on a page and people would read it and feel... (long pause) changed. I find that the love of writing always stems from reading. Once you have that love for reading, words & poems & stories flow out of you uncontrollably, whether you want it to or not.'

Samantha T. 20

Communications major & fiction-writer

Quotes from the Lesser-Known: Part 10

'Why do you like to travel?' 

'I have always been fascinated by the size of the world, the diversity of human race, their cultures, the terrains they live in and many, many other things. I won't say it's important for everyone to see the world. Everyone has different interests, but new sights definitely give more perspective.  

'What was your favourite place in the world that you have been to?' 

'I don't really have a favourite place. Everyone is different & I like these differences. My favourite place will be the next one that I am going to.'

Swee Cheng, 35

Marine biologist, photographer, avid traveller. 

The above picture is taken by Swee Cheng himself during a recent trip to NYC. You can see more of his beautiful photographs of places across the globe here.